The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize