Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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