you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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