So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
