i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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