Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
