Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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