Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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