she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
