Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize