this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Houston, we have a blender
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
