Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
