Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
