dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
