Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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