i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I should be sponsored by Trojan
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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