I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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