Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
