My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize