are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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