Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
