My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
