nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
