Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
