Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
