All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
