I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
