Cold hands, warm shart.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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