How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
