I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
