he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
