You just made me feel so damn special
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
