Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize