We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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