So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
