i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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