Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Girls should come with a carfax report
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
