I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
