guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
