their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
