At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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