i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
