Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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