does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
