we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
your room smells of hookers.
And success
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize