So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
