Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Well I just put wine in my tea
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
