i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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