well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
