Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
