does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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