my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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