I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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