That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
