You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
