What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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