New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
