how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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