Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
