last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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