I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
