let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
