does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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