well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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