I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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