Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We have started to decorate penises.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
