Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
