ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
