why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
