He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i think i have herpe
just one?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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