would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
