due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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