i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Your penis caused this!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
