I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
