Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Need sex. Gaining weight.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
