I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Randomize
