Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
