Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
