i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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